Why you should “own it” vs. blame others

Have you ever felt ignored, blamed or stuck, or like you have little or no control over a situation? We all have, and some psychologists say that our thoughts are in those places (aka, “below the line”) up to 80 percent of the time.

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The key is to learn how to be aware of and accept the moments when you’re feeling below the line. Ask yourself, “How did I get here? What has been going on in my life?” And, when you’re ready to move forward, ask yourself, “What can I do to take responsibility for how I feel? What do I want to believe instead.” When you answer the latter, you regain control of your interpretation of the event, which means you regain control of your circumstances.

Yes, mastering your thoughts means mastering your results. Have you heard of the law of attraction? The point is that our thoughts are more powerful than we think they are, and we attract the things into our lives that we focus on. So when we always see the problems, we stay in the problems. When we are waiting for others to do something, we hold ourselves back from moving forward. When we refuse to see our role or our choices in creating the situation we are in, we cannot get ourselves out of it.

Your personal power lies in noticing that there’s a choice in how you interpret the world around you. You have the control, if you’ll just decide to take it. Once you open your curiosity by deciding to learn from criticism or difficulties, and get courageous by seeing effort as a path to success and persisting in spite of setbacks, you are developing a growth mindset, as written about by Dr. Carol Dweck and illustrated below.

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Her research has shown that those with a growth mindset reach higher levels of achievement and fulfillment. You’ve heard the phrase, you are what you eat. You are what you think too.

Author: Shannon Crownover

Founder of HERstorycoach.com and @UTurnForMoms on Facebook. Coach, Writer, Strategist, Speaker and Facilitator. Let's connect: shannon@HERstorycoach.com

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